Jus’ Talkin’ Story

It has been quite a while since my last post…of course most of 2016 has been the whirlwind of life whirling swirling twirling all around with complete entanglement, yet to speak of it in words to share seemed so…not the time, for a long time. So much has happened and shifted in that time of no time, it truly has been like Alice falling down the rabbit hole! Learning to look at each thing in amazement with how bizarre it truly all is and was – nothing is the same or familiar anymore – yet the ever present need to make choices along the way has been demanding our utmost attention. Wow, what a ride!
It is hopeless for me to contain it in a nutshell; to be sure it is volumes. Yet what essence or flavor is in this moment’s story? How quickly the cosmos might send you in a completely different and new direction, when for sure you (believed) stayed the course, fine-tuned and adjusted the ‘destination’ to where you thought you were headed. The education of ‘expect the unexpected’ beats almost all of it (yes, with a mixer on high speed), yet ‘you get what you ask for’ is the frosting. Bet you didn’t know you were asking for that, did you? Or maybe, jus’ maybe – you did know…
Counting the blessings of it all is incredibly important, even if you don’t feel like it along the way – ho’o pono pono comes into play here, very much so – probably mostly in retrospect, like when you finally make it out of the rabbit hole adventure and find yourself back to ‘normal’ living – ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (normal? Like it ever would be again? I don’t think so). Then what?
This is exactly what has been happening on our Journey of the past six years…off to the jungle life of another country and everything so very new and different, and now to be looking at life beyond this Journey. Not that the Journey ever stops, it is just another new Journey, because what happened to you in the Wonderland experience has changed you forever, and now we are ready to apply our new found tools and wisdom of the Self as it is now; for me, I am still cultivating and nurturing a very authentic self that I learned to recognize, explore, refine, clean up, struggle and fight with, get in the way of progress for – and yet to heal (ongoing) this Self in the process. “I can’t go back to yesterday, I was a different person then.”-Louis Carroll
When we left the states we left everything – family, friends, life, home. We had lost everything (more stories) during some rough times of challenging the system, and came to Costa Rica with a little bit of cash and $750/month social security. We were going to find a place to rent and grow a garden and try to settle into life in the campo here, to the best of our ability. We have been looking for ‘home’ ever since! I mean to say that we have had some incredible journeys and seen and done so much in the process, while struggling to survive under the circumstances that we had along the way. Always there was the hope and faith and trust that we would be shown what we needed to make it, as we shifted along the way, without much to work with except some ideas of promises fulfilled – that never happened. We refined our search to finding an affordable (at least relative to investor players along the way) piece of land, close enough to what is important and totally suitable for doing what we do, which is organic gardening and sustainable homesteading. Several ‘players’ joined us in the search along the way, potential partners and others that dreamed of doing the same, but we could never find the right piece, the right situation, to put the money available and property together that worked; there was no match. Something always blocked it, or we just couldn’t ‘go there and do that’, but when finally we do find the perfect farm – there is no money available to buy it! The devil definitely resides in the details so for now I will skip those, but when you have searched for the ideal situation for all players involved and find it, and then nothing comes together to make it happen, well…seriously, perhaps it is time to paint the house.
Lo and behold another option is dumped in our lap, as we are still giving the ‘perfect farm’ scenario all of December and January to ‘get it’s poop in a group’ and happen – or not. The interesting thing about this other ‘option’ that showed up is that it is doing something that we believed we had left behind forever, and that is to return to live in the USA. Not only that but it gets relatively cold there in this particular place, too, and we had abandoned chopping ice when we left for good! It’s not in the same zone as the frigid we left behind, but after living in the very hot and humid tropics of CR for six years, hmmm…I will say however that Mate, who is Oso, is looking forward to cooling off again – he is one hairy dude and sweating a lot can be rashy. Good gravy and for Pete’s sake, what is up with this? After the initial shock of it all (really? Are we seriously considering doing this?), it actually started to make some sense…however difficult it will be.
Thus, the ultimate likeliness sinks in that funds are probably not on their way to buy ‘the farm’, sinking feelings of giving up the chase creep around and make themselves obnoxious; not being negative, but realistic – and for an idealist this is challenging to consider throwing in the towel. All of that trust and faith and talk about doing this, how perfect, can’t wait until you find it…and now gone, in a puff of smoke? Could be. I guess one of the perks is that where we are going you can puff and smoke, legally. Here you can go to jail for eight years if you get caught with it, or at the least for 1.5 years for a reefer. And another really difficult thing is going through the banking systems these days, from the States to here is grueling – bank checks for the legality of funds requires paperwork and time; all of the hoops that you have to jump through puts a cloud over the entire process, not even to mention all of the games that get played here in this system with banks and lawyers (royal pain), this is a third world country and we are ‘gringos’. But there are still lots of really awesome dedicated folks in community that are making it happen and there is a beautiful thing happening here. Yet, maybe not for us now…:(
Six years of reorganization, healing, growing, shifting, evolving, regrouping (multi-dimensional), etc. – is the ‘purpose’ of this move for us to be sharing what we have become with a place that is very much like we left behind in cultural attitude (back country USA), i.e. taking charge of our new self and dealing with ‘that same old reality’ with new tools? Alice as she returns to the ‘engagement party’ after her Journey – this is exactly how it feels to me. Wow.
The thought of leaving this jungle that I have so fallen in love with, and truly there are many more untold stories from here yet to share, has sadness. I will have to say goodbye to my four steadfast blessed angel horses that have taken such good care of me and given me so many years of joy – but not after several more miles yet (if it would stop raining, si Dios quiere). And of course there are things that I will not miss, like right now all of the mold and fungus growing everywhere from all of the rain – and this includes a lot of bite bugs. More reorganization. No more playa; no more howler monkeys and toucans and Lapas (scarlet macaws); no more very poisonous snakes lurking anywhere any time or really big spiders that run out between your feet from under the bed – or up your leg; no more warm weather all of the time; and adios to a community of friends, Ticos and gringos, the like of which I have never experienced before any place I have ever been – true friends and family in an international spiritual blend.
The biggest blessing in all of this is that the main idea is to join up with our son and his new family to build a homestead – an invitation. Yes, we have nine grandchildren, four whom we have yet to meet, and I know they will be more than giggly to know that we will be back on native soil, as none of us has lots of money to go hauling kids to foreign countries and all, so it has been six years since we have seen our family. The fact that we are not spring chickens speaks loudly, but this has not been a major obstacle up to this point. Seriously though, $750/mo don’t get you too far in a country where you cannot legally have a job; however, you can own a business and thus I created an herbal health and body products from jungle medicinal plants biz that does well, but small scale…thus the farm desire and need. Truly it is hard to grow all of your medicinal plants at a rental when you might have to leave at any moment. Oh well! We shall return to the herbs of the high plains and mountains it looks like, but even this takes finances. Ho hum, some things never change, eh?
Well, today (now yesterday) is Lamat/Star with totem ‘rabbit’ of the Mayan calendar, and so whatever we might envision with true heart and lots of Star light guiding us, I feel that evryting gonna be irie. Perhaps the way to create the finances to do this will make itself known, just as Alice became partners in the family biz after she told whatshisname to take a hike. We all have gifts to share, and this in and of its self should sustain us. Finding which way to go and allowing it to unfold – uh-oh, there’s that trust/faith thing again! Will it manifest this time? Did we spend six years here looking for home only to return home? Kinda cliché but dam, seems like this is just about the size of it! My Mayan sun sign is Jaguar tone 8 (harmony and balance) Mate’s is Jaguar also, tone 11 Resolution, finding your place in the world – but his totems are also Oso and Golden Eagle, and mine are many…and so perhaps the Journey goes full circle here?
(For more information on Mayan calendar interpretations, check out: http://www.mayanmajix.com and http://earnestlydebra.wordpress.com)
The new year shall bring us the knowledge for what direction we are headed…
Vamos a ver, what a helluva Journey wrapping up and another one lining up – for 2017, a one year of new beginnings; imagine that.

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Author: Elena in the Jungle

Living a very simple reclusive and self sustaining life way out in the jungle with my husband, growing as much food and medicinal plants as possible, I find my freedom and sanctuary in the amazing and spectacular array of life that surrounds me, gifts of Gaia, most especially while traveling around on my horse.

2 thoughts on “Jus’ Talkin’ Story”

  1. Hey there, Elena! It does seem like it’s been that kind of year and that kind of ‘ride’ for many of us, one way or another (and perhaps some have been more on the sidelines of this particular set of ‘rapids’!). Very interesting that a new ‘story line’ possibility has emerged in returning to the U.S. (I felt somewhat that way when I left San Francisco after many years to return to NY). It’s also quite the journey — how your adventure there has included such beauty, heart-sync, and yet also that strange ‘never seems to completely line up’ experience. That’s living into the Great Mystery, me’thinks (I recognize that one!). Lots of love to you … I look forward to hearing more about how the adventure and story unfolds. xo Jamie

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